I have good friends. They fed us, they took us to their house, they entertained Hope while I pretended to sleep on their couch, and lovingly left me alone as I sobbed. They did my laundry as I lay there, sometimes actually sleeping, sometimes just too drained to move. They even hung it all out […]
I'm Home–If That's What You Call It Read More ยป
My brand-name, extra-strength tissues cannot handle my pain. I have lint all over my hands, and my nose is raw. And let’s not even talk about my head, or my stomach. Or my soul.
The crisis counselor said that often suicidal people make plans, and that things may seem a lot better right before it happens, because they have made that decision. They are at peace, the end is in sight. I didn’t believe it, but I do now. I think maybe he decided Wednesday night after we talked.
How Long Did He Know? Read More ยป
Chris was a man who loved his family, and needed us desperately. He came from a horrible childhood, including homelessness, alcoholism, and every abuse known to children. Judge that if you want, dismiss him if you want. You can slap label after label on him and on our relationship, but you will not diminish what
By the clock, it’s morning. There was a time when I only saw five a.m. from the other end–as in, “Gee, I’m up late tonight.” But my daughter is a morning person, so that hasn’t been true for some time. I’m here. My head is still pounding. I accidentally made a full pot of coffee,
Morning, Day Three Read More ยป
I’m alone, and now I don’t want to be. All day I’ve hidden here, at my computer, and now I want to talk, but it’s almost eleven. I could wake up a friend. I have good ones, not a one would object, or even silently resent. But I can’t bring myself to do it. How
Another long and not very productive day. The lady who was supposed to adopt our rats did not come, and I can’t find where I wrote her phone number. I was late to work because I had no energy to make the munchkin get ready this morning. I took lunch to get my hubby’s living