July 2004

I’m sick to death of people who mean well. People who never hugged me before Chris died, still need to not hug me. People should not corner the recently bereaved in banks and grocery stores and ask how they are doing. Well, they can, if a polite exchange is all they want, but they should […]

Last night Hope and I watched the International Space Station sail across our sky. It was absolutely the coolest thing I have ever seen. I kept telling Hope, “There are astronauts living in that dot of light RIGHT NOW!” So she waved! The site where I found the time of our flyby (NASA website) says

I’m pretty sure I’ve used that title before. But it’s true today, again. I don’t want to blog, I don’t want to think about it. Bad enough I dream all night about it, and wake up with the worst headache of my life to go with my heartache. I don’t want to blog. That makes

Okay, now I’m angry at him. I love him, and he knew it. We used to have mock arguments over who loved who more. Which I usually won by pointing out all the crap he’d put me through, and the fact that I was still there. He cannot have doubted my love for him. So

If you’re thinking of dying, DON’T! Don’t tell yourself those silly lies, like no one will miss you, this will show them, they’ll be better off without you, etc. People love you. They will notice. They will care. People love you. The more they love you the greater your ability to crush the life out

Today it’s two months. And it hurts as much as the day–no, the day after. The day it happened I wasn’t feeling much of anything, including the ground under my feet. I miss him every second. He should be here, damn it, dragging me away from the computer to go have fun, messing up behind

It should be funny. But it’s not. I have court tomorrow morning. I’m told that the dependency case will be dismissed, since the danger to Hope has passed. I’ve spent my whole weekend trying to come up with that one polite, pointed comment to tell them all off. I’ll probably settle for, “Oh, thank you