I almost got through the day yesterday without realizing it was Father’s Day. How, I don’t know, once I remembered, it seemed like it was on every TV channel, every station on the radio. Even then, I was hurting, but okay–until I saw this one commercial. That wasn’t even about Father’s Day. You’ve probably seen […]

I guess I better start looking for smaller recipes. Some energy flowed in from somewhere, and I decided to bake something before Hope forgets everything she’s learned so far. It’s very important to me that she be self-sufficient, and the earlier she starts learning, the better. Maybe if my mom had let me in the

Mostly I’m still managing numb. Numb is good. But every once in a while… Today there was a commercial for some stuff that claims to make your rough, callused feet soft and beautiful. And the actors were a man and a woman, sitting on a couch while he rubbed her feet. Chris used to rub

I’m numb. It’s a good thing. But I don’t want to write, or think, or talk, because the numbness can’t last. I want to hold onto it as long as I can.

Weak women have always annoyed me. My brothers used to get mad at me, for yelling at some ditz on TV who wasn’t smart enough to smash her attacker with that lamp she just put her hand on, or to bring her knee up and run like hell while he was still on the floor.

It’s official, it’s been a month. I can’t believe it’s been so long, on the one hand. It still hurts like–well, the first few days were pretty numb. It still hurts like the first week, though, definitely. On the other hand, it feels like I’ve felt this way forever. I can understand how perfectly sane

Other than read and otherwise distract myself, I haven’t done a damn thing I didn’t have to do, for almost a month. Even taking Hope to the zoo yesterday counts as a “must,” since I am a mommy, and she deserves all the joy I can give. It’s not like I enjoyed myself. She got