My Favorite Things

Okay, too tired to truly blog, and I don’t care to rant about human stupidity again anyway. So I was wandering through my “goof off” file and I came up with my version of “My Favorite Things.” You know, the song from The Sound of Music?

::big evil grin::

Bombs with short fuses
and ammo that jingles
Long sniper rifles
and C-4 on Pringles
Nuclear winters that never turn spring,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Missiles, heat-seekers,
napalm from the heavens,
Bazookas and houkas and 357s,
Shotguns all loaded with buckshot that stings.
These are a few of my favorite things.

Land mines that blow up
making men into parts
piranhas that swarm
and man-eating sharks.
Big planes that drop explosives in strings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

I’m a psycho,
yes, I know it.
I should be locked up.
But till I get all of my favorite things,
I probably won’t blow up!

(Be afraid. Be very afraid.)

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