Kill Your Darlings

Sometimes you just have to trash it all and write through someone else’s eyes. Sometimes you have a lovely bit of still-life, some couple thousand very pretty words, but your story hasn’t started yet. Or you’ve got a great scene, full of conflict and emotion, that doesn’t belong in the story you’re writing.

I like this scene muchly, but it’s in Eshan’s POV, and I’m staying with Hiro for this novel. I was trying to convert it to Hiro’s POV, but it loses too much. So he’ll recap the important information by telling bits of this story, I think. Sigh.

Good news (I hope it’s good news) is that means y’all get to read it.

(plz to stp taking out my doublespace, formatting monster. Thx.)

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A Taste of Battle

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On a quiet afternoon of a free day when practice had gone well and he and Takai were sitting on the back veranda under the ladybreath tree that was just about to blossom while they discussed the strategies that had briefly saved then lost Asanto Keep, the alarm bell drifted up the hill and Eshan lifted his head and stared at his apprentice.

An incursion. A call to battle.

Takai’s first.

Eshan shook his head as Takai stared back, probably wondering what in thorn was wrong with his master that they weren’t moving yet. With a thud he slammed the book and rose.

“Prepare yourself,” he said, and vanished into the house. Changing quickly into his uniform, Eshan shoved away anxiety. Takai was as ready as he could make the boy. He was skilled, he was smart, and he would not stray far from his master. He, Eshan, could keep him safe.

And if he couldn’t, then the boy shouldn’t be a Keeper after all.

Distant grumblings took his thoughts off the boy to direct a stern rebuff at the stirring in his mind.

Not until the battle, he ordered. Don’t even think of coming out before I call.

It wasn’t resistance, but resentment he sensed in return. It would listen, but it was not pleased.

Eshan cared nothing for its pleasure.

Within half a candlemark Eshan led four other Keepers and three apprentices including his own to the Watchstone on top of the Keep. He did not inspect Takai, trusting the boy to have remembered his gloves and to bring his sword. When he had the nod from the other Keepers, Eshan reached for the stone.

At the last instant remembering that Takai had never Traveled and was his direct responsibility, Eshan reached out and grabbed his apprentice, tugged him close.

Only because he’d never Traveled.

With a gasp and a jolt they stood by a stream, beneath a spreading oak. Takai staggered, and Eshan held on as the others gathered themselves. The Keepers watched the apprentices.

Takai, no surprise, was the first to feel the filth. Eshan hid a smile as the redhead shuddered, and looked around in wonder.

“Master?” he asked. Eshan let go, but patted him as the other apprentices separated the sense of wrong from their own anxieties.

“Adal,” Eshan said, pointing. He directed Mamed to the other side, and Sef to the back. Without an apprentice to train, Sef should have expected to be reserve, but he made a face and Eshan sent him a glare. Sef had the decency to look embarrassed. Eshan surveyed his small force and found Takai watching him deal with Sef.

Well, one day he might also command. Eshan finished his examination and turned back to the utter wrongness they had come to face.

In the back of his mind it grumbled louder.

Not yet, he warned.

Behind him Takai checked his sword for the third time, but even with his battle-heightened senses, Eshan didn’t smell fear from him.

That was as it should be. The boy was not the one who should fear.

In a clearing the party found the incursion. Perhaps fifteen Mindless, still in the muddle of a Blastball. Eshan waved Adal and Mamed to flank it, their apprentices at their backs. Eshan himself slowed to give them time, and Takai stayed on his heels though he could feel the boy’s eagerness to charge on in.

He would learn. Eshan drew his sword as Mamed and then Adal turned inwards. Behind him he heard the ring of Takai’s sword as all three Keepers broke into a run.

Three slashes, and the ball broke apart, the Mindless fumbling and roaring. In his mind the voice became clearer but Eshan let it, bouncing over a grasping hand before he remembered Takai–who was in the air at his back. Landing and turning, Eshan bounded back as the others took their swipes and Takai followed him. Adal, Mamed, apprentices…Mindless. Bouncing in and out of danger, Adal led his apprentice and let the boy get a taste of the fight. Mamed kept himself between the Mindless and his student. Sef–was not in sight. Fool!

Later. Mindless were slow and stupid, but they could still kill. Eshan slashed and one flew apart, the pieces not harmless, but now inanimate. Takai still was at his back; excitement had not turned him to chase an unengaged Mindless as it stumbled off. Mamed and his sword met the creature’s attempt instead.

In moments all the Mindless lay in pieces in the clearing, but Eshan scowled as Adal poked at the bits. Something was wrong. Something still–

Behind him Eshan felt the re-emergence of Sef. Why he had wandered off, though–

In his mind the voice roared. Eshan spun, shoving Takai down as he slashed up.

His sword met Sef’s with a crash. For a long moment Eshan faced Sef under their straining blades. Except it was no longer Sef. Demonfire burned in the eyes that met his.

Worry of how would come later. Takai was on his feet and had, smart boy, backed away. Eshan let the hold go and used the force to leap back, away from the Keeper-trained demon. Adal bent, ready to leap, but Eshan waved him back.

“Keep watch! Something is still free!” Eshan was in command. Killing the monster who wore the face of their friend was his task.

Demon-Sef roared and leaped at Eshan. He met the flashing sword and met it again, let himself be driven back to get away from the others. Dimly he felt Adal and Mamed watchful, their apprentices by turns watching them and Eshan’s fight–and Takai, moving with him. Eshan let irritation flow, pass through and vanish. Later.

Clash of swords and dance of bodies and wind and trees and Takai’s red hair never too close. High and low and back and forth and the demon was growing stronger while Eshan tired. Side to side and ringing swords and defend and attack and feint and block and leap clear. Mamed bouncing aside as the thing landed near him, dragging his slow apprentice with him

Takai behind him as the monster charged again.

Now? the voice asked.

Now, Eshan agreed, and slid his hand along his sword as he spoke a Word. Blue flame flared and Takai gasped and Eshan leaped to meet the demon. Slash and block and attack on a weakness and it–he–and Sef screamed as the thing roared, dying on Eshan’s flaming blade.

When the body was consumed Eshan sent his enhanced senses spiralling out, searching. One spot…one bit of wrongness, but Adal had it contained. With a sigh Eshan released the power.

You like it more, the voice insinuated.

No, Eshan said.

Yes. You find reasons to hold it longer.

Eshan ignored the words and pictured a chest, solid and banded with iron. The voice grumbled, but went silent. Then Adal swore and Eshan turned and something flew at his face–and a flash of silver sliced it from the air.

A deathkiss. Small and lightning fast, but now pinned by the sword of an apprentice. The demon had taken Sef, had nearly taken Eshan–but Kunihiro Takai had saved the life of his master.

“Keeper,” Takai pushed through clenched teeth, “it does not die…”

Eshan touched the sword and spoke a Word, and blue flames shot down the blade. Belatedly he worried about startling the boy into dropping his sword, but Takai didn’t move until only a circle of ash marked the deathkiss. Then he raised his eyes to his master and grinned, and Eshan smiled back.

That one, said the voice, will be ours.

What does that mean? Eshan demanded, but the voice was gone. Not silent. It had removed itself more fully than it had in years.

“Keeper Kisaragi,” Adal said, using Eshan’s title as he rarely did, “do you sense more?”

“No.” Eshan shook his head and scanned again to be certain, but without the other he knew he would find nothing. “No. It’s all right.” He waved the Keepers into place, surrounding the apprentices as much as possible, and took his command back to the Watchstone.