So my wonderful librarian friend emailed me. She’s read several of my novels and I’ve found her to be pretty much right on target in her suggestions. (and no, her suggestions are not “it’s perfect publish it now!” )
Anyway. Email. She was thinking about my books, and decided that she really thought Taro and Rafe would both be better in third person limited POV. They are both in first person now.
Man. I can see her point about Taro, at least. He’s a very straightforward person, and goes directly for what he wants. Full steam ahead, and so on. Description is not his strong point. In third I could slip stuff in that he wouldn’t mention in first.
But. I’ve already been through that novel like, four times. Not sure it would improve enough with a fifth time to make it worthwhile. I mean, I can always improve it. I could tinker forever, make it a word better here and there. But I have other things to write. Da Vinci (according to the internets, anyway) said “Art is never finished, only abandoned.” I think Taro is about at that point. I just don’t know that there’s enough to be gained from a rewrite to make it worth the time I could spend on something else.
And Rafe. I love Rafe’s voice. I adore Rafe’s voice. I think it’s one of the best things about the book. And there are lots of great things in there. Also, he’s not like Taro. Rafe’s a sensualist. An unapologetic hedonist. I’m not sure the book would gain any description at all, and I’m afraid it would lose a lot of its charm.
But. She’s an excellent beta. Her suggestions always make my work better. She’s always right on target.
Grarrghh…
Opinions? Some of you have read one or both.
May I suggest rewriting key scenes in third person, and comparing it to first and seeing what you prefer?
I’d like to see Taro in third person, too. Actually, I think it’d be fantastic in third person, but it’s really up to what you’re willing to do.
… If you write it in third, can I read it? <.<
I have to agree, though, that Rafe's voice is brilliant as it is. 🙂
Oh, hey, THERE’S a thought. Do a little and try it out…
*chalks up another vote for “It would be awesome!”* My friend said it’s “great” now, but could be “stellar.” So you two are in agreement.
Yes. The first file I sent you is still supported. You get all upgrades. XD
WOO, UPGRADES!
I think I agree with Dusty, too. (Woo, upgrades!)
>.>
(I agree about the POV question, too. 😉 )
I definitely agree with Dusty that you should rewrite some key scenes, at least to see.
However, my thoughts are these:
Yes, Taro would be amazing in 3rd person. Not necessarily because of the description, just because he seems like that sort of narrator. I like his voice, but it’s not so unique that I can’t live without it. But I also think it’s amazing the way it is, and that if you keep pushing it you might stop loving it as much as you do, and that is easily a hundred times as important as anything else.
DO NOT TAKE RAFE OUT OF FIRST PERSON. I mean, yes, in some ways, it makes sense that way, but Rafe /is/ that book. His voice and his conversational style are exactly the charm of the book, and putting it in first person would damage that a lot–and there would be a good book in there, but maybe not the one that had me rereading /the entire thing/ during NaNo because I just couldn’t quit.
So. My two cents.
Midge, your capslock let me breathe easier. Which tells me how very much I didn’t want to do that to Rafe. Thank you. All of you.
It does seem a consensus–try it with Taro but leave Rafe alone. So that’s what I’ll do.
When I get ’round to Taro again. 😉
I AGREE WITH MIDGE’S CAPSLOCK!
And I agree with Dusty (and everyone else) about trying some scenes from Taro in 3rd. Because I have no idea there.
(WOO, UPGRADES!)
THANK YOU! (Really, it’s sad to think I might have done it if not told emphatically enough not to. >_> I think I would have quickly figured out it was a mistake, but not before a lot of head-desking.)
(FYI, Taro versions beyond, oh, 5.2 or so will not be supported. Any crashes he causes after that are your own problem.)