Stumbling On

So…quitting the Doomy Summer of Editing DOOM didn’t actually happen. When I backed off my guys for a bit, they came up with some answers. They waited till we were halfway through the frakking book because they’re assholes, yes, but…answers.

Along with stumbling about trying to fix the implausible plot in this book, I’ve flailed quite a bit about Ben’s flaws. In the first draft, the only thing about him that could be called a flaw was that he cared too much about others. Where “too much” = “got himself in lots of trouble.” Not that he took over their lives or tried to harass them into being safe or stuff that actually looks like a flaw…Yeah. Can you say “Gary Stu?”

He grew, though, through the other books I wrote. Going back–well, it’s been something of a struggle coming up with what Ben would be like (if not perfect), back before all the things I’ve done to him over the years. I would have said of all my characters, Ben was in the top two of those I know best (because Eve? She’s in my brain. Srsly), but he didn’t want to come clean.

I think, maybe, I’ve got it now. I know that Ben has always wanted to be a doctor. His father died when he was five, and he formed that goal then. But I think…somewhere along the way of working his butt off and getting into med school early and being something of a Wunderkind, he lost sight of why he wanted to be a doctor. His compassion and caring is buried under a layer of self-centeredness, of privilege, and yes, some prejudice. He does come from one of the oldest families in the Union.

A month or so with Eve, though, will strip that veneer of asshole right off.

So. I’m putting in the edits I’ve already made, to avoid confusion. (got thirty pages done today!) I’ll decide when I get to the end of that if I’m editing on, or starting at the beginning again, or just letting it go to ruminate upon a bit longer.

Whatever I do, if I’ve really figured out Ben, I’ve made huge progress.