Oh great cats and wandering humans of the intertubes, what shall I do?
Though I plan to make a Great and Thoughtful post with an Official Announcement at some point, I’m pretty sure I’ve already mentioned once or twice that I have decided to self-publish Taro and see what happens. You may imagine this decision has led to the need to make many more. Thus my quandary.
Almost the first thing I must decide, before anything else can be finalized, is what name will go on the book?
Here be dragons waffling.
Heretofore (yes, I will randomly use big words and talk all classy because it is fun), I have kept my online life carefully separated from the one I live on planet Earth. Only Facebook has my real name on it, and it doesn’t link to anything else. Twitter, deviantArt, Livejournal, this blog, my forums and groups–all of those are linked to the name on my fanfics, KD Sarge, and I did that for a very good reason–Internetz ppl are EVIL STALKERS.
Okay, that wasn’t really the reason. This is: I am not, and never will be, ashamed of my writing. (I don’t mean the old stuff that makes me cringe to share here. I’m talking about the smut.) However, I do live in the real world, and work at a school. My smut, gay or not (it is), is not suitable for consumption by children. You’d think the warnings I throw on all of those stories would be enough, but again–real world. In this world a teacher can be fired for appearing nude in a magazine that it is illegal to put in the hands of a child, as if somehow his/her ability to teach is negated by the fact that he/she does not subscribe to the general prudery from which we suffer as a nation.
I want to use the pen-name for another reason, too–what goodwill I have earned on the World Wide Web has all been sown by my alter ego, KD Sarge. I’m not crazy about the idea of ‘branding,’ but I do recognize that a certain amount is not only healthy, it is imperative if I wish to get noticed. I have to create a foundation and then build on it. I must focus my efforts, not run off and start a Sekrit Lair in a cave rather than occupying the treehouse I’ve spent years constructing.
The problem is, I want to use my willing and eager real life friends and acquaintances to help push my book. I could do this–the book I am publishing, and all its kin in that universe, is smut-free. Only, what’s the saying? The chances of a secret being kept is inversely proportionate to the number of people who know the secret? As soon as I link my real name to my pen-name, some enterprising soul (middle school children are quite enterprising when it comes to surfing the web rather than doing homework) will find my smut. And because my name is on it, they’ll probably read it. (Miss KD is a kind and caring person! She would never do anything to hurt m–OH MY GOD GAYSMUT AND BONDAGE YAY!!1!eleventyone!!!) And then I’ve Corrupted an Innocent (yeah, that kid who was cheering bondage was innocent before he/she read my story, uh-huh…) and I’ll be damned lucky to keep my job. Probably at the price of taking down all my work. (I’d love to say I’d just say “fuck you” and go job-hunting, but I have a kid. I must be responsible.)
This is not a false dilemma. Nearly every day several someones find my blog by searching “Weiss Kreuz fanfic” or “KD Sarge” or the extremely flattering “KD Sarge Nothing Ventured” (Five years after I posted it, people remember my name and the name of the story, and want to reread? SQUEE!) I struggled some time with the decision to move my fanfic to LJ because I did not want to lose that traffic. Those readers may not follow me out of fandom–but they might! I’d be a fool not to give them the opportunity. Moving it to LJ was one thing. Sanitizing all mention of it from my blog? Not going to happen.
Then there’s the issue of my other stories. I don’t plan on hiding Hiro, or publishing him under a different name than the rest of my work. And Fidelis is YA. I don’t want him out on his own, either. I need to support my work if I want it to get anywhere–see previous mention of Sekrit Lair vs. Treehouse.
With that, my predicament is laid bare. What then, shall I do? O great internets, grant me answers. Illuminating questions. Cat macros. Thy will be done.
I think pen names are a lot of fun, personally. I mean, this is coming from someone with a complete dearth of attachment to his birth name, so what I find fun here is obviously biased, but I did have a lot of fun thinking about names back in the day. I had my original Fake Internet Name I’ve mostly disowned, I had my decoy name from back when I assumed I’d be stealth and shunt all my trans writing to a secret identity. I cultivated an assortment of different nicknames back when I was a girl, each representing a slightly different self-image. I’ve always thought it was vastly unfair that we are assigned a name way before anyone has any idea of the kind of person we’ll be and we’re just expected to stick with it and be content because That’s How Things Are.
Anyway, that turned into a ginormous ramble but my feeling is, if you have any reason at all to want to divorce your private life from your public one (and I think your reason is quite legitimate – unfortunately legitimate, but still legitimate) then why pass up the opportunity to try out a different name? As long as there’s some link between your pen name and KDSarge (i.e. they’re both used somewhere visible on your blog, which is easy enough to ensure) you shouldn’t have to worry about the traffic thing.
I don’t think there’s really a disconnect with using RL friends to hawk your pen name, either. Think about it: if you publish under your real name, any casual google search will immediately link your work self to your fiction. If you publish under a pen name, and people who know your real name also know your pen name, then yes, that might mean a connection gets made, eventually, but it’s not a guarantee and there’s more google hoops to jump through to connect them and you’re still at least safer than if you didn’t use the pen name.
Thirteen people can keep a secret if twelve are dead.- Ben Franklin
First, hun, the days of secret lairs for authors have disappeared, given the transparency of the process brought on by incessant blogging and rabid readers who desire to know how things work. Secondly, I’m a little offended as I am an internet peoples yet I have never been evil to you (and about the stalking, well, d@mn it, I send you cookies). 😛
I don’t understand your abhorrance to branding, as it is both a necessary and imperative part of the process. However, for sake of blog space, I’m going to take my little tirade straight to the point.
You have no dilemma. You already have a “brand”, and a loyal reader following to that brand, and a foundation laid with KD Sarge. You have an established audience. Don’t let all that hard work go to waste! Your eager, willing, RL friends and acquaintances will read your work regardless of what name you put on it. If anyone asks “hey, why’d you publish under such and such?”, tell the truth. You work with kids and didn’t want to take the chance they’d google your stuff as you’re exploring adult themes and issues that they may not be ready for.
By the way, your brand is NOT “gaysmut and bondage”, and maybe that’s what is throwing you off. When I see a story by KD Sarge, I know I’m going to get passionate, resonating characters who fight for what they believe in and who they love- characters who show us how to accept that we can be our best selves, irregardless of what the establishment thinks. Your brand is empowerment, KD. The gaysmut and bondage, well, that’s just the whipped cream and cherry. 😉
… I dunno. Sorry, but I really don’t. I definitely see both sides of the issue, and I don’t know what would be best. But I’ll minion either way. *hugs*
yay, excellent points in support of what I want to do!
I think pen names are a lot of fun, personally
Me too!
When I see a story by KD Sarge, I know I’m going to get passionate, resonating characters who fight for what they believe in and who they love- characters who show us how to accept that we can be our best selves, irregardless of what the establishment thinks. Your brand is empowerment, KD. The gaysmut and bondage, well, that’s just the whipped cream and cherry.
OMG ILU. BRB, shipping you my firstborn…
I put the branding comment badly. By “I’m not crazy about the idea of branding” I meant “I’m not going to go crazy with the branding.” I won’t be running around going “Read about gaysmut and bondage with KD Sarge!” anywhere and everywhere like the people who come on my suicide survivors’ group pushing their dating site.
(Besides, I couldn’t possibly include bondage in my “brand”–it only happens in a couple stories. >_> )
But I’ll minion either way. *hugs*
Yay, minion! *HUG*
I…. Er, I agree with what everyone else said? lol
Seriously, though, KD Sarge is an awesome, fantastic writer and her stories are intriguing and well-written and so much fun to read. We know that. TONS of people online know that.
Very few people know that about (insert real name here). Your pen name already has a following, you already have lots of fans under that name. I see no reason to abandon that name when you publish IRL.
Basically everything you said in your post. Yeah. (oh, btw, Sporkers can ask for autographed copies, right? 😛 )
*hopes the bus waits!* Thanks. 🙂
Heather, yes–you’ll get an autographed copy. But you’ll have to buy it first! Otherwise it doesn’t count as sales. 😉
I’ve been wibbling over this myself and was going to wibble at length all over your blog, but I’m supposed to be running to a bus as usual, so for now I’m just saying I read and sympathise and I think the pen name makes sense for you if you’re happy with the idea.
Buy it? What, are you kidding? Of course I’m buying one. It’s so much easier to read (and reread…) something that’s not on a screen. 🙂
😀