Whoo, Crazy Parent Day!

It’s one of those ongoing, oft-repeating holidays. And wow, is it a fun one!

“What I want is for the violin to be replaced, or for her to get an A in Orchestra and move on.”

Never mind that the violin has been missing three weeks without anyone saying a word. Never mind that you came in complaining that the violin was stolen from the orchestra room, then pointed out it had to be stolen from the orchestra room because you’ve searched everywhere and not found it. Then you complained about our one and only security officer being unable to drop everything and meet you, and our principal being in a state-required professional development meeting that you all think is such a good idea. Also you complained that we don’t utilize the lockers all over the school which you all have been informed do not work. Did you all not notice the state slashed our budget to ribbons last year? Do you think we have one counselor, one security officer, and broken lockers because we want to?

Also, it took about ten minutes and a call to the neighboring Boys and Girls Club to find the “stolen” violin. As the gleeful child pointed out, “If you hadn’t grounded me for losing it, I’d have been at the club and found it by now!”

I’ll be waiting for your apology, but I won’t hold my breath.

“I want to change my daughter’s schedule.”

Why? Because she’s having a conflict with one teacher. She’s doing well in all her other classes, but she wants to change that teacher even though that would require changing all the others. Has the parent spoken to the teacher? No. Well, what’s the problem? Well, it’s definitely not the fact she’s not doing the work. That can’t be the problem. No, the real problem is this teacher who has devoted her life to children has taken an instant and unreasoning dislike to her daughter.

But wait—a quick look at girl’s grades show she has a B in that teacher’s class. And Ds in two others. Hmm…

Well, says mom. “I’ll talk to her and see what she wants to do.” Umm, hello? YOU ARE THE PARENT. She is ELEVEN.

“Now what I’m being told is that any child can just walk out of school at any time. Is that correct?”

No, what you’re being told is that we are a middle school, and we will not take your little darling by the hand and drag him kicking and screaming to his bus. If he wants to walk home, and you don’t want him to walk home, and he walks home, that is a discipline problem on your part. Not an educational failure on ours.

And then there are the “little” annoyances. The man who, as he signs out his sick child, says he doesn’t have time for this, he has to go to work so “those people on welfare don’t have to.” Or the man signing out his granddaughter who complains that I don’t “ask those immigrants for their ID.” Completely out of nowhere, “let’s see if these people are stupid enough to agree with me” provocation.

Hey, parents? Just a suggestion, but do you think you might, you know, want to…GROW THE HELL UP?