Can’t write, brain dead. But here are some tips for registering your child in school.
If we ask for a birth certificate, that’s what we need. Not a baptismal certificate, and not a birth announcement you cut out of the paper. And it’s the student’s we want, not yours.
You cannot register your brother’s neighbor’s cousin’s mechanic’s child for school. We need to talk to someone who actually knows the kid. And we need forms signed by said person.
Shot records for the student, not the dog’s rabies vaccinations. And yes, even if we didn’t let all those dirty immigrants in (yes, someone said this to me!) we would still need immunizations. No, we don’t give shots at the school. Yes, you need them. No, we won’t just go ahead and register him without them. No, I’ve never heard of the polio vaccine causing Alzheimer’s.
I can’t register a kid without telling the school district. Someone would notice little no-name showing up for class. And if the district doesn’t know he’s there, how can he graduate?
A copy of Playboy with your name and address on the mailing label is not acceptable proof of residency. Neither is an illegible note from your landlord, on letterhead for a different address than you gave.
No, we didn’t turn off the AC just to tick you off. It doesn’t work. Yes, it is 103 degrees today. Yes, we’re just thrilled to be doing this too. Yes, we are over-funded, can’t you tell?
Yes, I am brain dead. Can’t you tell?