A friend of mine was the first to read His Faithful Squire, back when I called the manuscript simply “Rafe.” I remember she thought Taro and Rafe were too affectionate. She explained that her gay son and his friends were not at all demonstrative.
I thought that in a time and place where gays were sometimes beaten mercilessly and left tied to fences to die, “demonstrative” was probably not a safe thing for gays to be, and I left it as it was.
I thought I was progressive, but I can tell you now that I wasn’t exactly comfortable with them as a couple either. I worried that people would be squicked if I went too far. I fretted where the line was. I wavered between “they’re gay! Deal!” and “I don’t have to be in-your-face with this.” Without meaning to, I wrote it more chastely than I would have done a heterosexual relationship with similar characters.
The fact is, Rafe is sensual. More than that, he’s a man trained since childhood (yes, illegally) to give pleasure. He’s going to touch his beloved Taro. A lot. So now I’m putting that in, and deepening the emotion for everyone, and wondering how much is too much.
I’m no longer worried about the gay aspect. A few years of writing yaoi fanfiction will do that for a girl. But I do wonder a bit about that shifty line. First-person Rafe is pretty damned intense. I’m not sure most of us are wired for it. I need to be true to Rafe–but be too true, and HFS will have to be erotica.
While I have no problem with that in general, it’s not the goal for this story.
So. Editing. Onward.
Is it possible to lampshade it a bit? There might be a way to distinguish that *Rafe* is an affectionate person, always has been, rather than having it come off in a “they’re a couple so they need to MAKE OUT A LOT, OKAY?!” kind of way?
Maybe one day Taro’s pissy and in his irritation he feels “clung” to, because maybe no matter how used to Rafe and maybe even dependent on the affection he’s become, he’s going to have moments where he doesn’t want it. Maybe Rafe ends up feeling so out of sorts at one stage he isn’t touchy at all, and it’s commented on even by someone who usually can’t stand PDA or something. Or maybe someone makes a snide comment about it that wouldn’t usually bother Rafe or Taro, but they find themselves unable to dismiss it. Or maybe there’s someone who hates PDA from *anyone* and finds Taro and Rafe particularly infuriating, even though they have no problem whatsoever with homosexuality. Or maybe there’s someone from a different planet where homosexuality is still thought of as a sin, and they lose their shit.
That’s some stuff I’m chucking at the wall, whether it sticks or not, I shall not worry. I hope it triggers some thoughts, whether you use any of that or not. 🙂
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Dusty, I love you, for lo you are brilliant and generous and amazing.
😀
My first thought was Dusty’s first idea- that Taro one day rebuffs Rafe’s attention for some reason, and you could show Rafe dealing with that.
If I’m remembering right, a lot of HFS dealswith Rafe becoming his own person. So why not play up the crisis of faith? Have Rafe question if his affection for Taro is all true, or if some of it may be instinctual from his joyboy training. Maybe he goes a whole week (or whatever period of time) without responding to Taro at all, and they have an argument about it, which allows for a climactic psychological break and moment of catharsis.
See. Therapy was actually useful for something. 😉
I like this idea muchly! But I’m not sure exactly what ‘psychological break’ means.
A psychological break is where the person in question finally breaks down. Whether they do it in violence, verbally, break down in tears, etc. The catharsis is usually the more evident part – the violence/tears/etc. But finally some kind of mental block they have over the situation comes down.
Rafe is going to have to come to terms with his past before he and Taro can move forward. He’ll need to reconcile being lusted after because he is a joyboy with being a loving partner to Taro. That should give you all sorts of angst and drama to write into HFS. 😉
Ahh, okay. I’m familiar with the concept, just not the name.
Man, I need more time to work on this. Anybody want a house/car/kid/cat?
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