Other than read and otherwise distract myself, I haven’t done a damn thing I didn’t have to do, for almost a month. Even taking Hope to the zoo yesterday counts as a “must,” since I am a mommy, and she deserves all the joy I can give. It’s not like I enjoyed myself. She got to feed a giraffe, though, so I’ll file that away in my “I’m a good mommy” file. How many kids do you know that have fed giraffes, petted a tiger, and been bitten by a zebra?
I’m so sick of feeling less than half alive. I’ve accepted that I have to move on, now I’d like to get it over with. This is not me! I DO enjoy my life, damn it! I’m not one of those who spend most of their lives waiting for Friday, Christmas, vacation, etc. I look forward to them, but I also live in and mostly enjoy the other days. Even Mondays.
Not anymore. I AM the definition of zombie, now.