Once in a while I mention a toxic friend I had to leave behind a few years ago. It was a clean break–I never see or talk to him anymore. But we were friends for a VERY LONG TIME. And we were friends through some very bad times, for him and for me. We held each other up, talked about everything and anything, and we were always there for each other. He was very dear to me before the toxicity level got too high. He’s still very dear to me, from a distance.
The point is, tonight I met someone who reminded me very much of this turned-toxic friend, only this person was what my former friend could have been. He was funny, he was intelligent, honest and caring and irreverent–so much that my former friend was, before bitterness took him over. He also had a lot of the mannerisms and ways of speaking my former friend did, so much that I was on guard for a while, expecting the toxicity to come spewing forth at any moment.
I enjoyed my evening with two new friends very much. But it made me sad for my old friend. Walking away from that friendship was very hard. He’d been dear to me for so long. It felt wrong to ever EVER give up on him, but we were making each other miserable, fighting all the time, and I didn’t want my daughter to grow up thinking that it was okay to let people treat you like that.
So I don’t talk to him or see him anymore. But I still miss my friend. I think I always will.
This rambly post brought to you by a very tired lady who worked VERY hard today then went out and had an absolutely fantabulous time with TWO new friends. 😀
Also, there was amazing chocolate cake. With ice cream.
Yeah, baby.
Friends like that are hard to lose, but as you point out, it’s necessary.
Indeed. When you let someone that toxic stay close…it’s bad.