Life goes on…
I haven’t watched TV in a while so I don’t know if they still do it, but remember when a TV show would do a “very special episode” about something serious? Maybe one of the kids would have a brush with underage drinking, or mostly by luck evade a pedophile. Before the episode, the cast would talk about how it dealt with serious issues and they hoped it would start a dialogue in your household. And then in half an hour, or at most an hour, the Serious Issue was dealt with, survived, and the young one a little wiser. Except it would never be mentioned again.
Surely everyone will be astonished to learn that life is not like that.
My daughter has been back home almost a week, after being gone about five days. I feel like I’m under siege. The roommate is afraid to upset her lest she be the reason Hope takes off again. I hold my ground, but the result is an awful lot of her screaming at me while the roommate hides in corners. I watch her like a mom afraid of losing her heart again. She can’t have unsupervised computer time, she spends her days in the constant vigilance of at least one adult, and she can’t visit any friends.â€
This state cannot last, but what can I do?
She says she’ll never do it again. We don’t believe her. She’s said a lot of things over the years that later changed to fit the whims of her moment. Her counselor wants to get her into something called MST, which is intensive, in-home, and involves me. He wants me to get her set up for respite care, so I can have a break from wondering if my daughter’s still safe. He wants me to take care of myself. He thinks moving is a great idea, that having more space will reduce stress and make things better.
Yeah, well, the house isn’t gonna move itself, now is it?
I love my daughter and I’ll do anything for her. This is just my little whine. I work full-time, I’m taking my fourth semester of Spanish, I’m trying to edit a book due in a week, I’m trying to raise a difficult fifteen-year-old, I’m trying to maintain a household, and I’m trying to find a house and get ready to move.
Taking care of myself is not a thing I am likely to get to.
And don’t tell me it’s important. I know it’s important. If I fall apart the whole thing goes down in flames. I KNOW.
I’d just like to know when the fuck I’m supposed to DO IT.
†She is allowed to have friends over. Oddly, none of her dear and so important to her that she’ll ditch class to help them and lie for them and they’ll lie for her when they KNOW WHERE SHE IS–not a one of her friends has found the time to visit her in an entire week, though I’m willing to pick them up and take them home. But just try pointing out to her the shallowness of a friendship like that…
So many hugs to you. Wish I had a magic wand I could wave or something. *hugs again* You’re in my thoughts daily.
We have GOT to get you that wand.
Come by tomorrow for a visit. I’m here all day and we can talk. I have information that may help. Hugs and sleep well.
Believe me, I plan on it. 🙂
*Hugs*
Holy hell, things sound really tough right now. Hang in there. I hope you get your breather soon.
thanks. *hug*
I hope you find a way, it’s got to be so hard for you right now. I am still thrilled that she is back home. Beyond that, I’m with Bea – I want a wand like that as well.
As a former street kid who lives in California I’m stoked to hear that your child is back. I ended up on the street bc my family had no idea how to take care of a rebellious son who was heading down the wrong path. You would be surprised at how many kids are out there from 15year old Kids on up. Durring my time out I ended up with a heroin problem that I payed for by being a male escort. I pray that nobody’s children have to go through the things I and many others have been through life on your own Is a lot harder than I ever thought I could be when I was younger and I had to pay the price for actions and eventually my addiction, no fun to say the least. Encourage your daughter to talk to someone who has been through a hard life to find that person all u have to do is go to an AA meeting in your area and talk to the Secretary of the meeting that way they can get u in touch with someone in your local area that can tell u and your daughter their experiences and maybe help with what’s going on in your lives. I’m not saying that either of u have a problem with alcohol, but this is the best place I know to find someone to talk to that may have been through the exact thing I was going through that possibly had been further down the rabbit hole than I went.l hope u and your daughter are able to work everything out, and trust me, your child is not missing a damn thing out here except for bad people and drug problems!
Thanks, Nick, for your caring and your advice. I actually have a friend who works with addicted teens in recovery–I had not thought to ask her for some help getting through to my daughter.