Yes, I know what the date says. But I haven’t slept yet, so it’s still Day Four.
Too much happened today, but I didn’t wake up and find it was really just a nightmare, so not enough happened today.
On the left side of this page, under More of My Stuff, is a link labeled “My Beloved.” Please go see him, and pay your respects. His guest book comforts me.
I took all the rolls of film I had laying around to Target today, for the one-hour photo. My darling sis-in-law is a wonder. Suddenly there’s a wake set up for Thursday night, and since there can be no viewing, I wanted to have a picture, at least. The good folks at Target were kind enough to ignore my frequent fits of weeping, and helped me quickly and courteously. My hat’s off, people.
We were able to see his remains for a few minutes today. Hope is now saying “Daddy’s body,” so that achieved what I needed it to. I wish I could have skipped it, I don’t want to remember him like that!
Hope is getting difficult, and it’s so hard to summon the energy to discipline her. Especially when I really want to ignore people and yell and be demanding too.
I can’t think. My head is pounding still. I think I’ve been headache free a total of two hours since Friday morning. I’m going to bed, praying I’ll dream of him.
Please, before you do the same–tell someone something nice. And love your loved ones. Do it for me.