You tried to make me ashamed, tried to separate us, tried to make me give him up. Well, congratulations. You got what you wanted. For being mentally ill, and an alcoholic–RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC, damn you!–he received a death sentence.
But hey. He’s not messing up our lives any more, right? You have achieved your end, triumphed in your mission. May you get what you deserve.
I got news for you, world. I’m not hiding anymore. I have NOTHING to be ashamed of! You don’t know anything about him! He WAS worthy of my love, I was never ashamed to love him, and I won’t let you make me hide anymore! He was ill. Did he use that as an excuse to beat us? No. Did he say hurtful and hateful things? Sometimes, but so did I. And I will still, because I’m human too.
Fuck your ideas of what’s a normal family. Who the hell has a normal family? You? I DOUBT IT!
Did he need help? Certainly. But would he have died, if you assholes had given a shit, given that help, years ago, WHEN I TRIED TO MAKE YOU? ANY OF THE TIMES I tried to make you?
Where was the help, when he came to you with his suicidal thoughts? Where was the help, when he came to you and said he wanted to learn to be a better daddy? Where was the help, when he asked for counseling? WHERE WAS THE HELP, DAMN YOU!
I will shout it to the world. My Chris was an alcoholic! He suffered from depression, and obsessive-compulsive disorder, and Tourette’s Syndrome. He was dyslexic, and he had supraventricular tachycardia (a heart condition) and he had heart valve damage. He was on blood thinners, and stool softener so his hemorrhoids wouldn’t make him bleed to death. IS THIS A MAN WHO SHOULD BE ALONE IN A MOTEL FOR WEEKS?!? All of that was documented, every last condition.
And you know what? When I met him, he wasn’t an alcoholic. When I married him, he had a job, and he wasn’t an alcoholic. WHERE WAS THE HELP, WHEN HE STARTED DOWN THAT DEADLY ROAD?!?
IF YOU DIDN’T WANT TO HELP HIM, WHY WOULDN’T YOU LET ME DO IT?